For some people, having single parenting issues is probably not something they thought they would have to face in your lifetime. It probably came as a huge shock to you, no matter how it happened. Being a single parent was probably not something you dreamed of as a child, so give yourself time to deal with it. Some of you may be feeling a lot of anger and resentment and this is only natural, so do not be hard on yourself.
Of course, there are those who chose to be single parents and have always wanted a child without a partner. This must be a difficult decision to make and a very brave one in our busy society. No matter how you have become a single parent dealing with single parenting issues is difficult and challenging. However, there is help available if you have the right tools and help from friends and family.
Dealing With Single Parenting Issues
A child needs a male and a female figure in their lives. This is something that you cannot change. As children grow they start to learn who they are and in order to do this, they need strong role models. Ideally, this should come from the child’s parents; however, any trustworthy male or female role model may play a part, such as an Uncle or an Aunt. To avoid single parenting issues, you may try to be the child’s mother and father.
However, if you look at the roles they play, you will see that this is very difficult to achieve. In a child’s life, the mother typically plays the role of the “nurturer” and the “comforter”. She is there to “pick up the pieces”, heal the hurt and provide a warm bed to sleep in at night. The father is seen to be the disciplinarian and the provider. Of course these roles can be interlinked and the father can also be a nurturer and the mother a disciplinarian, but children need to identify these strengths for themselves.
Trying to be “two in one” can be a dilemma for the child and causes great confusion. So if you are facing single parenting issues, talk to friends and family about it. Tell them that you need role models for your children and that you need their help. Trying to do everything yourself will only lead to single parenting issues, so share your difficulties. In this way your child will have many role models to base their identities on and have a wealth of experience and knowledge that they may not have had otherwise.
Originally posted 2011-08-05 00:33:47.