Being a single parent and raising a family means that external issues are involved when they are planning to enter into a relationship. Attempts to get involved with someone in a relationship or to have a guest spend the night can sometimes be awkward when there are children at home. Then there are the difficulties that involve getting baby sitters as unlike other people single parents will always be kept to a time restraint. This is the reason many parents find it difficult to bring up their kids alone as it can have a severe effect on their freedom.
Like most obstacles in life, there are ways to overcome them. Just because you are parenting alone does not mean that you cannot have any sort of social life. There are ways to have your own free time and be a loving and caring parent to your children. Having children to care for provides many questions that childless singles do not have to deal with:
- Do you think potential partners are scared off because you’re a parent?
- Do you wonder when you should introduce your child to someone you’re dating?
- Are you concerned about making the most of visitation time with your kids?
- Do you worry how to answer a child’s questions about your romantic life?
- Are you concerned about the legal implications of getting involved with somebody?
Below are solutions to some of the more common questions that single parents have to take into consideration:
Potential Partners who are Frightened of Parenthood
If you have a kid and you are dating someone who dislikes or has little interest in children, then you are probably better off thinking of this relationship as temporary rather than to try and work it out to be a potentially long lasting commitment. By expecting that the person that you are in a relationship with to change, may be setting yourself up for disappointment in the long term.
When a relationship begins to develop then it becomes important to introduce your partner to the kids. If over a period of time they begin to clash then it may not be the right option. Kids always have to come first, no matter how romantically you feel about the other person. If the kids are unable to get along and are unhappy with the situation you could maybe sit them down and discuss how you feel. Never force anything on to them as they may drive a wedge between you and your children.
Make the Most of Their Visitation Time
If you have to balance visitation time with your social life, the principle is to make your activities and the general climate as normal for all of you as possible. That way, your kid will also have much less difficulty adjusting when he or she goes home to the custodial parent. Always remember that you have divorced your spouse, but not your kids.
Introduce Your Partner to the Children
When you are beginning to get more involved, it’s time to let the other person meet the kids. Make some observations. How does your friend interact with your kids? Does your friend make an effort to get to know your children? Does he or she seem jealous of or threatened by them? Is he or she competing with the kids for your attention?
If your partner resents their presence, this is unlikely to change, leaving you torn as the relationship progresses. Your kids are here to stay, but your partner may not be. Any adult who puts a parent in the position of having to choose is exhibiting immature behavior.
Handling questions about your Romantic Life
Children ask questions about a single parent’s partners at different ages. Tell them the truth. If you are seriously involved with someone, it’s okay to let them know. ON the other hand, there’s no reason why they need to know the details of your relationship that don’t concern them.
The single parent family requires the parent to give constant reassurance to their kids that anything that affects them will be OK. It can be quite frightening for a child finding out that their life is going to change without any of their needs coming into consideration. Kids will usually ask what they want to know to make them feel more secure.
Originally posted 2011-08-04 23:39:53.