Single parents deserve respect. Their lives are turned upside down by the circumstances that lead them to assuming their role as single parents. Undoubtedly the experiences prior to them becoming single were traumatic, whether the decision to be alone was a personal one, or due to death of their spouse. Not all single parents consider single parent dating; after all, why go through the same experiences again? Some may feel that finding new love may not be possible. They shut the doors to their hearts, and never even bother to answer if someone knocks.
Self confidence and self esteem go hand in hand. The ability to make choices on your own, without the influence of another, awards strength to many individuals, especially single parents.
However, whether or not you believe in fairy tale romances and the concept of soul mates, no man or woman needs to be alone forever.
When you go to a store and see canned food on the shelf, it’s more than likely that the label surrounding the canned food will attempt to display the delicious consumable product that is inside the can. At that moment, all you want to do is take it home and eat it. But, when you get home you discover that the contents in the can tastes terrible. What do you do now? You can’t return it, it’s already been opened. All you can do is hope someone else will enjoy it, give it to the dog, or throw it away. Excuse the similarity, but relationships can be the same.
Single parent dating can be tricky. Consider the amount of websites available on the internet that offer the space for single parents to connect, via the internet, without ever having met one another. Is this foolish? Could be, and perhaps not. Single parent dating services can be the missing link between two individuals destined to be together, and they can also be a trap.
Think of yourself as someone trying to sell a product, in this case yourself. Are you confident about what your product offers? Are you confident about its warranty, or will it break the first time it is used?
Single parent dating opens doors to new relationships, but it can also be a playground for individuals wanting to take advantage of emotionally unstable individuals.
To create a clearer perspective on the topic of single parent dating, here are a few points for you to consider. (Also consider our page about Single Parent Dating Tips)
Reasons for single parent dating
A relationship that was once a haven of fun and excitement turned sour once a child sprung into the picture. The late nights, the lack of intimate time alone, the responsibilities that come with raising an infant, the inability to agree on solutions, and other factors, build up on top of one another, until eventually one of the parents decides enough is enough. They leave the child with the alternative parent, and go in search of a life that promises to be as stimulating as the one they had with their partner before their child was born. Selfish? Perhaps. However, what is the point in two individuals being together if the love has gone? A loveless relationship between parents won’t in any way provide inspiration for a child. They will probably argue due to the resentment they feel for having to be together, making a child’s childhood a miserable memory. Divorce is not the end of the world, and can be better than experiencing world war three every day.
Problems arise when one of the parents is against the idea of a divorce. They cling to their partner, making them feel terrible for wanting to leave, and blame them for ruining their child’s life. The guilt trip begins. If a relationship dies, you do not have to die with it. As they say; If you love something let it go, and if it comes back to you its meant to be yours. Those who find difficulty in letting their partners go will undoubtedly have a few hidden insecurity issues. They find themselves in a comfort zone with their partner, and fear what life may be like without them. Think of animals in the wild. Do they have comfort zones? Do they find it difficult to accept that every minute of their existence relies on them providing for themselves? They continue with life every day, because they have to. Single parents who find themselves wasting time on harboring feelings like anger, resentment, bitterness, and even depression due to their partner having left them, really can learn from nature.
Life after the separation of a partnership must go on. This is where single parent dating can come into the picture. If you did not get it right the first time, perhaps the first time was just practice.
Death of Partner
Alternatively, death may have been the cause for a single parent’s new lifestyle. Having something taken from you against your will, and never being able to get it back, is hard to accept. Some single parents may feel that there is no point in single parent dating, and that no one else could ever fulfill their spouse’s role. Perhaps its better just to continue alone, and live in memory of the beautiful existence that was. Believe it or not some sea creatures, like killer whales and seahorses, are actually monogamous. If their partner dies, they never seek another. A simple test would be for you to ask yourself: how would my spouse feel if I were to find a new partner? Would they be angry, perhaps jealous? Would you be able to see your new partner for who they really are, without seeing your spouse in them? Is it worth it in the end? This is a very difficult situation to be in, and although many will say that you should consider a new partner, you may feel it is wrong.
There is no amount of information available to widows or widowers anywhere in the world that can tell them whether or not to consider single parent dating. This decision will be theirs, and theirs alone to make. There are often too many emotions involved, emotions that require hours of discussion and ultimately expression.
Many dating single parents may find that meeting new people changes the way they see life. Being with individuals interested in them, builds their self esteem and confidence.
For some true love can be found, and for others the superficial game of chase and conquer becomes addictive, and ultimately a trap, because one day they may actually find someone they truly love, only to discover this individual was playing the same game.
A few points for single parents to consider when contemplating dating
ARE YOU READY?
Do you feel like a child again, wanting to experience loves first touch? Do you need somebody purely because you need someone to help you raise your child? Are you aware that there is a chance your heart could be broken into a million pieces again? Have you learnt from your past relationship, did it end because of something you did, or something your spouse did? Can another individual ever replace your deceased spouse?
Single parent dating requires answers to all of these questions. Love is a powerful thing, don’t be fooled. Any manipulation of its characteristics can ultimately lead to disaster. Getting revenge on your partner by dating as many people as you can to prove that you are desirable and worthy of love, will never achieve anything. Your partner may ignore your attempts at trying to prove yourself to him, which could lead to your becoming more depressed and resentful. After months of dating you may end up feeling shallow and empty, because nothing pure or inspiring ever came from your dating experiences.
On the other hand, if you choose to let love reveal itself to you when it is ready you may find that you will hit the jackpot.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
If you have been through a divorce you will more than likely know what you are not looking for in a future partner, and will wisely stay away from individuals who display the same characteristics as your ex spouse. What will your new love be like? For a start, the individual will want to be your friend first and foremost. The individual will love your child or children, and will want to involve them in your adventures together. The individual will understand your past hurts, and will not want you to be affected by them ever again. Sounds like a fairy tale? Well, is that not what you are looking for?
Single mothers considering single parent dating should take into consideration the fact that not all men want to be knights in shining amour, and as mentioned previously woman considering single parent dating can become targets to men with ulterior motives. If you are a social being and think that single parent dating will be the answer to your problems, then so be it. There is something to be said for a happy go lucky attitude, but this only concerns those who are strong enough to adopt this attitude.
Single fathers considering single parent dating should also first make sure that they know what they want from a new relationship. Are they looking for love and comfort? Are they looking for a surrogate mother for their children? Or are they just looking for a friend? Its always important to remember that being a single father can in fact leave you in a vulnerable position when it comes to love, or at least this is what some woman may think. A vulnerable man, especially if he has lots of money, may do anything for the woman who makes him feel like a man again. Any good hearted woman will want to help a single father, and not just take what she can get from him. She will want to be there for him, comfort him, and will want to be friends with his children.
Consider your children
Single parent dating does not only involve you considering your feelings. If your children mean a lot to you, you will need to consider their feelings too. Single parent dating will have an effect on your relationship with your children; good or bad. Whether you choose to keep your dates a secret from your child or not, the fact remains that you are partaking in single parent dating in order to fill a gap, which your current lifestyle cannot fill. Is keeping this secret from your child going to serve a positive purpose? It’s your choice to make. Because single parent dating can lead to passionate relationships, there is a possibility that your child may feel threatened by the fact that your love is now being shared, with a stranger. If your child does not like your new partner, it’s important to find out why. Treat your child like an adult in this situation; let them know that their opinion is important to you. Then, give it time. If your new partner is good, your child will see it, because all children love to be loved.
Dating is not something you have to do; you are not less of a person just because you do not have a partner. Rejecting the concept of single parent dating will not eliminate the possibility of you ever finding love again, and it could prevent you from getting hurt by the symptoms of a shallow relationship. Alternatively, single parent dating could be a way for you to find friends of the opposite sex that have similar interests to yours, without wanting to get too seriously involved.
Both sides of the story are applicable, they just depend on who they are being applied too.
If both parents are single and have children, and they start dating, and their children like each other, and the relationship turns out to be based on real love, how very wonderful. This is possible.
Know what you want, who you want, how you want things to be, and then wait for someone who has the same ideals to come along. Situations like these prove that single parent dating can make sense.
Originally posted 2011-08-29 00:38:58.