When you’re a single parent raising a teenager, you don’t have other adults around to help you to remember to take deep breaths. You don’t get to share the stress with anybody else. This can make you more likely to snap to harsh judgments and decisions, especially when your teenager wants to test his or her boundaries. Try to take a deep breath. If your teen isn’t doing anything immediately life threatening, try to take a step back. How would you have felt when you were your teen’s age if your Mom or Dad jumped in and kept you from doing something you felt strongly about doing?
Many single parents raising teens have their own control issues that they are dealing with. It is highly unlikely that you are 100% happy with the fact that you are single. It’s also likely that even if you chose your singledom, you didn’t choose every step of the route you took to get to where you are now. Maybe you’re a widow or widower. Perhaps you got divorced. Perhaps you intended to get married to your child’s other parent but it just didn’t work out. These are all things that can make you try extra hard to control other areas of your life, including your teenager and his or her actions. Unfortunately, teenagers are more likely to rebel against controlling behaviors than they are to embrace them. When you get the urge to put your foot down or to interfere, ask yourself if the problem is with what your teen is doing (or about to do) or if it is simply because you didn’t choose that particular path or action for them.
Try to remember that, even when things get rough, you and your teen love each other. The bond between single parents raising a teenager and the teenager that they are raising is usually quite strong, even when the immediate relationship seems rough. Single parents raising only children have a particularly strong bond. Even when things seem like they are going all the way wrong remember that you love each other.
Raising a teenager isn’t easy under the best of circumstances. Even the most experienced parent will have a hard time. Single parents raising a teenager often have an easier time of it because they feel all alone in the challenges they are facing. Try to remember that you are not all alone and that, when things get rough, they will get better. After all, they have to leave the nest eventually right?
