Being a single parent is a very tough and challenging task and one often worries about the effects of single parenting on your child. Single parenting can sometimes create negative effects on the person’s personality. One of the main causes of this would be if the parent is suffering financially. This can be solved by finding a job that is able to support both you and your child.
This however, is often easier said than done. One benefit is that as single parenting has become more socially accepted it is starting to get easier to find a job within their local community that will allow them to sustain the needs of their children.
The Remnants of a Negative Stigma
Times have really changed. Older people often argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrown the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions. Moralists and conservatives sometimes raise their brows and express disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends. Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yester years are fortunately now very common and most people understand that they actually are just normal and acceptable.
The Rise of Single Parenting
One of the issues that were raising the ire of people centuries or even just decades back is the issue of single parenting and the effects of single parenting on children. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people. The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony and that’s their role.
Unfortunately it has also contributed to a negative stigma. Procreation outside wedlock used to be a ground for excommunication. Similarly so was divorce. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex. Single parenthood in that sense, can be taken in as a punishment of some sorts, to the people who disobey the teachings of the church.
Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. It is of course not only through pre-marital sex or divorce that spouses are often left alone with a child. The causes for single parenting stretch much wider than that. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.
Your great grandparents must be really turning up their graves if they could be able to hear such statistics. How times have changed!
The Voice of the Children
Single parenting or parenthood is in most cases, except at the death of a spouse, an adult choice and decision, taken by the parent. One voice often remains unheard – that of the child. Some psychologists and advocates argue and insist that the effects of single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological implications on the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.
Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent. Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for negative effects of single parenting, mental or psychological impact of the situation on the child.
Some tests and observations have concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing. Because traditional and normal families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids, single parenting somehow makes the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted.
A Sometimes Cruel Society
The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feelings of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child which can take the burden for the rest of his or her life. Thus, single parents and their children both need professional help through counseling. Reasonable advice and guides should be given both to the child and the single parent to make sure both of them deal with past, present and future issues from single parenting.
Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.
Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. While the remnants of a negative stigma are still to be found in the cracks of society, single parents now face the same challenges as any other parents in bringing up their children. In most cases, financial, time management and support challenges will add an additional layer of complexity to the day-to-day of a single mom or dad.
Single parents are normal parents, but because we live in the real world, it is your job to understand the effects of single parenting may have on your child.
Negative Effects of Single Parenting in a Child
Behavioral and emotional distress
Not only adults suffer from stress and anxiety. In fact children are the most affected by anxiety and stress. Countless studies show that children in single parent households are under a lot more stress. When the stress accumulates it can lead to problems in school and behavioral issues. Children being raised in single parent homes have a high risk of experiencing behavioral and emotional distress due to stress. They may have a hard time to adjust to their present situation – a divorce or death of one of their parents. Children become confused, lonely, fearful, sad and angry.
As a single parent, you will need to keep an open mind. Understand that children need proper care and enough love to understand and fight the negative effects of single parenting situations. Healing your child can be started by engaging your child into different activities that they love. Sports are good examples of activities that can help single parents and their children forget the hardships or traumatic experiences they have gone through.
For married couples who are planning a divorce, let your children know what is really happening with your relationship. Talk to them and assure them that they are not the reason for the divorce.
It is essential for single parents to talk to their children. Let him or her express their feeling about the divorce, about the moving, and changing of schools. Let your children know that whatever happens to the marriage, you still love them. Parents, as much as possible, must settle their differences amicably so that their children can adapt easily to the situation and to lessen the tension on their part.
Isolation of the Child and Parent
Another one of the effects of single parenting is being isolated. Both the children and parent will often feel “alone”. This is overcome by getting support from your family and friends and even social groups that are within the community. If you attend church or any community related activities try to mingle and participate as much as possible.
Lack of Single Parent Support
The lack of support is another negative effect of single parenting, which can be remedied by establishing a connection and communication to the people around you. Communication is important for every single parent to make others understand their situation and gain support from them. At the same time, make sure your child receives the support that he or she needs. Their friends and peers will fill a lot of support gaps, so ensure that he surrounds himself with quality individuals. Finally remember that you will and should always be the pillar of support to your child. The negative effects of single parenting on a child can to a large extend be eliminated if you could find the time to spend time, talk and invest in the character of your child.
Effects on Your Child’s Emotional Health
When a single parent argues with the other parent in front of the child, this inevitably leads to stress in the child. It is especially problematic when the parents try to get the child to take sides or deliver critical messages to the other parent through the child. The conflicts between parents and single parenting’s effects on a child’s mentality can lead to the child’s inability to grow an attachment with either parent. This lack of an emotional attachment can lead to feelings of insecurity in the child.
The Effects of Abandonment on a Child’s Mentality
When discussing effects of single parenting on a child’s mentality, it is important to note the effect abandonment can have. Abandonment refers to when a parent leaves the household and cuts off all contact. Feelings of abandonment can lead a child to question his or her own self-worth. The remaining parent must help the child cope with the other parent’s absence so the child doesn’t develop low self-esteem. Abandoned children also tend to have trust issues and bottle up their emotions rather than express them freely.
The Effects of Constant Moving on Children
Single parents move around more often usually because they face more economic hardship and must move around frequently in order to find more affordable places to live. This frequent moving is another one of the negative effects of single parenting on a child’s mentality. Each time children move they have to leave behind their neighborhood friends and the transition is even more difficult when they change schools. The possible effects of frequent moving are a sense of isolation, depression, and anxiety.
Single parenting’s effects on a child’s mentality vary but due to its inherent challenges, single parenting can cause stress for both parent and child and it is the parent’s responsibility to make it as least traumatic as possible. It is possible for the negative effects to be balanced out if the parents make an extra effort to provide their child with all the emotional support they need.
Positive Single Parenting Effects on Children
Single parenting often gets a bad rap for causing a variety of negative effects such as crime, poverty, drug abuse, and other problems.
Some studies would have you believe that single parenthood will ruin your children’s lives. What you may not know is that there are positive single parenting effects on children. Studies that point to the negative effects of single parenting are exaggerated according to new research. Rather than dwelling on the negative, why not start looking on the bright side?
Stronger Relationships with One Parent
One of the positive single parenting effects on children is that when they are raised by one parent their bond and relationship with that parent is generally much stronger than it would have been otherwise. The same even holds true for the non-custodial parent who might play a more important and unique role in their lives even though they don’t see them as frequently.
A Stronger Sense of Responsibility
Another positive single parenting effect is the increased sense of responsibility many children have. Children in single parent homes generally have to do a lot more chores and help out more than they would when there were two parents around because single parents have a lot less time to get things done. From helping out around the house, children in single parent households grow pride in the work they do and feel more self-value from recognizing their own contributions. Parents can help them build these feelings by praising and recognizing their efforts.
An Ability to Handle Conflicts
Children from single parent families are generally more equipped to handle conflict and this is definitely a positive single parenting effect. Children watch first hand as their parents come to agreements on how to raise their children and share time with them in spite of their differences. Children also have to learn early on how to handle disappointment and difficult emotional situations.
In addition to learning effective conflict mediation, children from single parent families have a healthier vision of the role they play in the parents’ lives. They realize how important they are to their parents but they also realize they are not the center of the universe. So there you have it. Single parenting isn’t always going to lead your children down a dark path.
There are many positive single parenting effects that are often overlooked. Rather than focusing on what could have been, your best bet is to focus on being the best parents possible and remembering all the good that is coming out of raising your child as a single parent. Even single parenting has its silver lining.
Possible Areas Effected by Single Parenting
Single Parenting is a daunting task. You are completely responsible for your children’s upbringing, finances, and everything else that raising a child entails.
If you are divorced and your ex spouse is still in the picture, you may have help from him or her in the form of joint custody, shared custody, or financial support. However, even with help from an ex spouse, it is important to understand the possible areas of you and your child’s lives that may be effected by single parenting. Remember that all of these possible effects of single parenting are taken from statistics, so it is very probable that your child will not experience any of these effects of single parenting and will be completely fine. However, it is important to understand what you could be dealing with.
The psychology of your child is important when viewing the effects of single parenting. Divorce can make your child wonder if he or she did anything wrong to cause the divorce. This can be devastating for a child. Being raised by a single parent and never knowing your mother or your father can be equally disturbing for a child. He or she may wonder, if the absent parent is alive, why that parent abandoned him or her.
Despite telling your child that he or she was not abandoned, the feelings may still exist. Your child may want to find the absent parent and begin a relationship with him or her. Whatever the feelings that your child has, make sure that you know about them, are close with your child and understand the feelings, and if necessary you have a psychologist involved to help your child deal with these feelings.
Children who go through any trauma tend to see a sink in grades in the immediate future. A child may feel despondent if one parent moves out and you suddenly become a single parent household. This despondence may carry over to their school work. This is a tragic effect of sudden single parenting.
Teachers may give your child slack because they know he or she is going through a tough time—do not let them! This will simply result in snowball effect. If your child misses a few weeks of learning, he or she will be behind for the rest of the year and possibly miss out on learning crucial elements upon which the rest of his or her education will be based.
Make sure that you know how your child is doing in school and are actively in communication with teachers to make sure that your child does not fall between the cracks. Knowing what possible effects of single parenting could arise will allow you to nip them in the bud if they do present themselves.
Financial Impact and the Effects on Children
Being a single parent is a very tough and challenging task. This can sometimes create negative effects on the person’s personality. One of the main causes of this would be if the parent is suffering financially. Finding a job that is able to support both you and your child and allow you sufficient free time to bring up your child alone, is often easier said than done. Single parenting has become socially accepted it is starting to get easier to find a job within their local community that will allow them to sustain the needs of their children.
It is important for single parents to learn how to manage their money. Being able to cut the expenses on everyday items such as transport, food, personal spending and the cost of looking after a child. Being able to save your energy and time is vital as bringing up a child alone will require you to play two roles; that of the parent and the sole provider.
Dealing with the effects of single parenting financially has become easier as there are now other support systems in place. However it is important to cut as many expenses as possible. When shopping for food it is always best to make a list of the essentials so that it will lessen impulse buying. Always look to shop for food at discount stores rather than in convenient stores with higher prices. This will help to save money. You can also plan your meals for one week. Whenever possible always look to use your electrical appliances efficiently. Beware of anything that may cost you money.
Being able to cut your personal and child cost can be done effectively by sharing and exchanging your services with friends and family. Such as baby sitting, gardening, window washing. It is also quite easy to charge for any talents that you may have such as typing, painting or sewing. Trimming your child’s hair yourself is also an option.
Children need love, nurturing and above all else security and a healthy environment to grow up in. This will help in their emotional and psychological development. No matter what type of family you have, being a single parent does not mean that your child will struggle through life. By being the good single parent that you are, your child will grow up to be a strong man or woman. You will be able to raise your child to become a loving and respectful person. It may be hard but believe in yourself and your ability to look after your child’s need and it will only have positive effects of being raised in a single parent family.
Originally posted 2011-08-03 23:34:36.